Numb and confused..

Blah.. 2 posts in less than a day..

What the fark.. Not feeling too good. =(

Really ironic.. the irony. Never felt so emo for so long, forgotten how it felt. Now that I feel it again, I am reminded of why I hate it so much in the first place. And I loathe myself for letting me slip into that God-forsaken state of limbo, numbness and confusion.

Which is EXACTLY why I hate emotions. For I am subject to it. And I feel it with such intensity that I hate it.

Why me.

I don’t really wanna care. Yet, not to care would be irresponsible, which is not part of what defines me. I won’t run away from problems, yet, to face it also takes a mountain of courage and emotional strength. SO I’m here, thinking: “God, please don’t let me drain my emotional strength, not again..”

Gahh.. Childish thoughts.

2 more weeks to internal exam. I doubt it will be easy. Trying my best to cope. Study study study..

Sometimes I wonder how the hell did I ace SPM with such… unspeakable torment and despair during that time. I did it before, I sure as hell can do it now. Bring it on.. Gahhh..

THIS IS MADNESS!! THIS IS… me, just being me..


I am a free spirit.. bound to no one but my own instinct and will. Tread not on my dreams, for it shall invoke a vengeful wrath none could withstand. Emotions are my eternal enemies; for it is my vow, for I let not petty feelings control this burning soul – me, forever intent on conquering new heights and defeating my inner demons..

Sleepy and tired.. but loving it.

Here I am, posting another update.. Borrowing Kian Joo’s lappie. This morning went out with sister who came all the way from PJ just to get me outta this place and have some good ol not-halal MEAT. Bwahaha.

This week had been, well, fun I guess. Stayed up late every night, going to library to study. Really starting to worry. Our lecturers are super duper slow.. Whereas the one and a half year program ones are way ahead of us.. omgwtf.

That being said, I’m really grateful to have so many close friends here.. At least there are some who looks like they are not really that worried. OH well. ==”

Dunno what to say nemore. Its been too long (felt like it) since I last went online, updating crap and spitting out rubbish on my blog.

By the way, something happened this week. It was quite daunting, confusing yet sweet at the same time. Life for me will never be the same. =) Now that I think of it, it really came quite unexpectedly and uncalled for. Life can throw surprises at you when you are least prepared, and it will go equally as fast and leave you yelling “WTF was that for??” then again I think that’s how we grow up. And I think I made the right decision.. I THINK. *shrugs*..

Haih, so much happened in such a short time.


Ahoy there from KTT~

I’m now at Inti Nilai campus, borrowing a friend’s laptop just to get online and post an update of my life so far at KTT.

The orientation week just ended. I’m really happy to say that we got the first place for the performance competition. We did really well with the fashion show thing. It was done with lots of creativity and improvisation. All the sleepless nights, staying up till 1 o’clock in the morning, it was really worth it when they announced we’re the winner. If I have the chance I’ll upload the video. Its bloody funny.

Hell yeah, Czech-bound scholars are so united. We’re proud that we’re the craziest group too. Everyone else, including the India and Indon-bound ones are so damn serious and very normal. We (CzechMed) are the noisy ones, the crazy ones, the ones that talk loudly and laugh aloud when eating, the ones that walk around in one big crazy group. I so love my group. I love my new-found friends too. We got bonded to each other in such a short time. Simply amazing.

Tomorrow marks the start of lessons. We’ll start grinding through a hectic 1 year of hellishly difficult stuff – the super accelerated A-levels. In 3 weeks we’ll have our first mid-sem exam. In 3 months we’ll be sitting for our AS exam – Advanced Subsidiary level. OMGWTFBBQ. 3 freaking months. Super kin teo. My housemates all already start reading up. I’ve only started on Bio so far. 8D Good thing is, the lessons themselves aren’t that packed. We have relatively stress-free timetable. Much free time. In short, everything depends on yourself. You have to take initiative to study, take initiative to grind, to get into the madness mode. o.O

THIS IS MADNESS! Looking forward to it though.

Stay tuned for my next update. Yeehaa.

Super quick little update

So finally I’m at KTT. Safe flight, safe arrival, bla bla. Settled down quite nicely. Its been 2 days since I’m here and frankly, its much better than I initially thought.

This week is purely orientation week. So we’re the noobs and freshies, brought around the college area to know life at KTT. Countless briefings and lots of fun moments with the seniors. I found out that there are 26 Czech-bound students, 29 Poland-bound (if I’m not mistaken), plus a whole big group of Indian-bound dentistry and medic students. I got to know many of the Czech-bound ones, and in such a short time, being in a secluded and isolated place, bound by the same mission and destiny, driven by the same determination, we became very good friends as if we’ve known each other all along. (actually I do, since a few of them are ReCommers)

The college itself is situated in Sepang area, near Nilai. Its basically surrounded by highway, jungle and oil plantation. No significant populated areas nearby. Nilai is just 15 minutes away though, so its still not that bad. At least we can concentrate more on our studies.

After just 2 days, we already found out how A level will be like. Its gonna be hard and I’m gonna grind and fight tooth and nail just to stay in the programme. Aw shucks. First two days were filled with book-buying madness as everybody who cared enough frantically and literally hunted around for seniors’ books. I took the liberty of cornering seniors at every opportunity, asking questions and seeking wise advice. Luckily there ARE a few GRSS senior here. Yay! Anyway I’m currently in book-hunting mode, stockpiling every kind of study material I can get in my apartment. o.O 8D

I’ve gotta run now. Actually now I’m just stealing some time and snuck into the comlab to update the blog. I’ll try to blog more when I have the chance. Buh bye.