Feels really good to be back. They say home is where the heart is, and I am obliged to agree. What more with the sumptuous food. I have been really free lately. Nothing to do at home. My daily routine lets me have more free time, too much free time that I in fact do not know what to do.

A lot of my close friends have left for university. So it gets worse in the afternoons when I am alone at home. The Internet is my only lifeline. I would go restless when the Internet speed suddenly drops and becomes almost non-existent. Speaking of which, after almost 1 year of surfing speeds in excess of 8Mbps, coming back here feels like Malaysia is some Stone Age country in terms of Internet availability and speed. TM should really buck up. =.=” then again my home is still on the 512Kbps plan.

512Kbps = omg. 8Bps = OMG on the other end of the spectrum.

Anyway, going to KL soon. Cannot wait to see my siblings, and I really miss PJ. I like the place, and I have no idea why. Maybe it is because of the fond memories of my sister driving me around and trying all the kopitiam there. *drool*

And really excited to see how our new condo apartment looks like. =D

Just like that, a month has flew past and it felt like only a week. Why does time go by at an exponential rate ==”

Passed my Histology exam last week. My examiner was Professor Martinek (luckily). I got relatively easy questions, thank God. We had a good discussion session, and all the questions that I could not answer were those that are not in the syllabus. So thankfully, I think I did my best. Got a very satisfactory mark and the best thing was that Professor Martinek gave this comment:

“You are very good. You can consider becoming a tutor next year. You can find the information on the website and apply with Doctor Becke.”

=D thank you, Lord.

I hope I can do better in Anatomy. So far, my progress is really slow and I am kinda screwed if I continue at this pace. Lots of questions to cover. 10 more days to cover 180 questions. Oh God.

But I just want to glorify Him and let my parents be proud, so I will try my best.

I want to be able to go home, hug my parents and let them know that their son has finished 1st year of medicine successfully.

God, lend me Your strength. =)

Living in black, yet yearning for white. Cannot complain, really. Since I dislike living in grey.

It is really amazing when one focuses on priorities, the rest becomes less important. I am thankful because I am blessed with this ability ( I think ) to know my priorities and focus on that one thing before turning my attention to other stuff.

It has happened during SPM before, when I totally let go of all other stuff that has been bothering me and just concentrated on studying. I just pray that now I could do it again, and possibly for the next 5 years I will have to call out this innate ability from slumber over and over again.

*sigh*

Not that it is a bad thing, anyway. Nothing feels better than not having so much to think about, to mull over and to emo about. The worst that could happen is me repeatedly telling myself: “not my business, not my business..” or “don’t think too much, don’t think too much..”

Works well so far.

The following narrative is pure fiction. Ian is not here right now.

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My world turned upside down. My heart almost stopped beating. I did not know. Maybe I am being perasan. And I do think a lot, so it might not even be what I think it is.

So yeah. Just feel so stupid and feel like punching myself to a pulp.

I cannot even achieve something that I promised.

And it hurts when I know that I cannot stop when all the cardiac muscle of my heart shouted in unison, “Stop! Let me go back!”

Time goes and never waits.

So, as quoted from my friend, “Life goes on. Move on, dude.”

You do not know how many times I wanted to hold you, how I wanted to protect you, how I wished things were different. But I just cannot. Deep down, I feel like there is something I have to do first. Inevitable confusion ensues.

I wake up, it’s a bad dream, no one on my side

I was fighting, but I just feel too tired to be fighting, guess I’m not the fighting kind.

This song really came back and hit me in the head. Haunted me. Keane really has a knack for composing emo songs.

How much I hated myself for hurting you.