When does the fine line between genuine concern become overprotective instincts?
Why does feelings of overwhelming concern keep haunting me and following me like a plague? Is it so hard, so impossible for a normal person to stop feeling so helpless when he or she knows something, yet cannot do anything out of the fear that what he or she does will not make things better or even alienate the other party whom he or she cares for?
Maybe some will not feel helpless. Some people will go all out to protect the other person – subtly or obviously, eventually the person will at least do something which he or she thinks will make a difference and shield the loved one from perceived harm. Yet, what if people cannot, will not or simple unable to do said things? What if people are terrified of the consequences of not doing something to protect that person, and yet cannot do anything in order not to upset the status quo or the balance of relationships, be it family ties, friendships or even something more?
It is so very difficult to be that sort of friend who can genuinely care and yet not intrude. Then again, where on earth can you find such people? Friends that can love unconditionally and expect nothing in return? It is only human to want something, or at least subconsciously have an idea or vague concept of “friendship” created by society and imposed by peers – to want to feel cared for and to want to care for others.
And how does God then fit into the picture? God obviously wanted Man to have friends – otherwise we would all live lives of loneliness. Or perhaps God wants us, especially Christians, to focus on the greatest friend one could ever ask for – Jesus.
Being human, though, we still need someone to be PHYSICALLY there for us – laughing, crying, sharing the burden and joy. When the roots of friendship and intimacy takes place, and when the relationship turns into something that defies description and require no labels as imposed by society – humans then tend to cling on to the bond that ties them together. Clinging, desperately, fearing for external agents that would threaten or disrupt the perfect little world they are living in.
Thus, when little facts or gossip that is carried by the wind fatefully reaches the ears of said people, they fear; becoming concerned for their loved ones if the news will affect them, brushing it off as sordid if it does not.
Then the question remains still: when does genuine concern become overprotective instincts? Should one then leave it to God, for He knows best? And just watch helplessly, praying, biting their fingernails and shouting inside their hearts?
Or should they inform the concerned parties and warn them, at the expense of sounding like a paranoid or even someone who will be viewed as becoming too clingy and annoying?
Personally, I would just settle for the first option. Because I simply do not know any better.
Times like these are when people would start yelling: “Where is the freaking boundary?!”; especially when so much is at stake, and especially when one views the relationship as something really important to them.
The only choice then is to have faith and trust God, like a child..